Four Themes in the Intimacy Pillar:

1. Social Engagement System

2. "Me" and "We"

3. Comfortable with Closeness

4. Your Warm Heart

Topics covered in this pillar:

• Deepening self-awareness of responses to disturbances in the connection system, including hurt, resentment, envy, jealousy, quarreling, inadequacy, loneliness, and shame.
• How we evolved to be the most social species on the planet.
• Neural mechanisms of healthy interpersonal experiences acting to calm and support us.
• Understanding childhood development of patterns of relationships. Attachment theory; patterns of insecure attachment; muzzling self-expression.
• Balancing the two great themes of life: autonomy and intimacy.
• Centering in your own being. Healthy boundaries.
• Tolerating closeness. The role of empathy; its three neural substrates; developing empathy skills.
• How to experience the heartfelt without “going red” into clinging to it.
• Feeling already connected, related. Overcoming “delusional separation.”