Four Themes in the Confidence Pillar:
1. Feeling Cared About
2. Growing the Inner Nurturer
3. Feeling Good About Yourself
4. Taking Life Less Personally
Topics covered in this pillar:
- Understanding our natural needs as a profoundly social species for feeling seen, understood, recognized, included, valued, and other healthy “narcissistic supplies.”
- Seeing the effects of meeting these needs in childhood: secure attachment, resilience, self-regulation, optimism, self-worth, and exploration.
- Seeing the effects of not meeting these needs in childhood: insecure attachment, reactivity, poor self-control, pessimism, inadequacy, and withdrawal.
- Understanding the effects of meeting these needs in adulthood – and not meeting them.
- The toxic power of shame.
- The distinctions between “person” and “ego.” Why persons need and deserve to be protected, happy, and loved.
- Ways to internalize experiences of feeling cared about: feeling included, seen, appreciated, liked, and loved. How to do this without feeding the ego. Why caring for yourself as a person actually reduces the sense of ego.
- Learning to soothe, nurture, and encourage yourself.
- How to develop inner allies.
- Dealing with the inner critic. Healthy remorse. Releasing shame and feelings of inadequacy.
- Seeing yourself truly. Knowing that you are a good person.
- How mindfulness and HEAL support each other.
- Finding the sweet spot of receiving beneficial experiences while letting go of them. Why cultivation gradually undoes craving.
Also Featured:
Creative Activities:
The Critic and Your Caring Committee
A Confidence Mosaic
Paul Gilbert Interview